This is a much more definable list, no feels there. (I don't know.. as am not hunting for a similar option, although I probably will be in the future).
> - The chassis does not creak when I pick it up from one corner
This would be an INSTANT 'nope' from me.
Every Fortune 500 company I’ve worked for (three so far) has sent me a Windows “dev machine” laptop with huge RAM and an i7-whatever processor… and they all creak if you pick them up from a corner. And the screen hinges all make weird sounds.
It’s not, like, a usability concern, but it’s something I’m definitely willing to fork over a couple hundred bucks to not feel every day.