i make it a point to be myself because i want my partner and my friends to accept me the way i am. i use it as a filter to weed out people who are looking for something else even if that makes finding friends more difficult. that doesn't mean i don't change things. but those are things i don't mind changing or things that help me to be a better person. (eg. i started to shave once i went to china, because in china people generally don't have beards, and having one makes you look old, but some time after i got married i started to grow a small beard again, even though my wife didn't like it because i preferred it that way)