> I have had almost exclusively positive interactions with the other parents and kids at the playground.
These stories were all over Reddit for years. I remember a thread asking for examples of things Reddit led them to believe that weren’t true, and the top voted comment was that Reddit made them think that going to the playground as a lone dad would cause women to view them as a predator. In reality, going to the playground as a dad in most places is a non-event. It’s common for dads to be there alone with their kids. When I go, it’s a mix of moms and dads and we all talk and interact.
Yet to a non-parent reading Reddit it seemed like going to the park as a dad was asking for trouble. The story was repeated so often.
I’m sure these events do happen some times. When it does, I wouldn’t be surprised if the accuser was reading their own Reddit equivalent social media website where stories about men being creeps at the playground get passed around as fact. To them, it’s just how they see the world working because they’ve heard it repeated so often.
I don't think we can chalk these up to "it's just Reddit, amiright?" I have a daughter, and I've personally had a non-zero number of negative interactions with justice-moms on the playground / at kid events. Are those interactions extremely rare? Yes. Did it freak me out a little? Yes. Are these kinds of anecdotes amplified on Reddit? Yes. A dad needs to keep in mind that he's likely to encounter it at least once in a while, while also not avoiding all life on the off chance the it happens.
I have not encountered anything like that (but I am not in the US).
What I have encountered in the two countries I have lived in is the persistent expectation that the norm is for children to be with women, not with men. This makes suspicion of men with or near children more plausible.
I still find people are surprised a man is the primary parent. My daughter lives with me and people assume her mother must be dead. People have asked where mum is. Dads looking after their own kids are sometimes described a baby-sitting.
This is not as bad, but it does set things up for regarding men being around children as suspicious.
> I don't think we can chalk these up to "it's just Reddit, amiright?"
That’s not what I was saying. I admitted that these things must happen somewhere.
The Reddit issue is that those isolated incidents were presented as common occurrences. It was talked about like any dad going to any park was going to attract dirty looks.
Instead, it’s a rare thing that happens when you come across someone problematic who sees problems where they don’t exist.
Whether something is rare vs. common can only be verified with statistics, and you'll notice a trend that someone pushing a narrative will refuse to cite any published statistics, or hand-waves them away for specious reasons, because they're trying to manipulate you using an emotional gut-response of something that "feels true" and also hits a fragile part of your ego. Indulging in that fantasy soothes your wounded ego better than pure rationality and holding beliefs lightly would, so you have nothing to gain by questioning their narrative even in your own mind. It's the same process of emotional manipulation used by fascist provocateurs.
What if people who have children approach them differently from those without, and it's noticeable?
Before my male friends had kids, they were tense and apprehensive around toddlers. They worried they would hurt them, etc.
Now, they act like Dads, even with kids who have nothing to do with them.
These guys weren't bad people to begin with. They just didn't radiate "dad energy" for lack of a better phrase.
Wasn't it the Internet Research Agency trying to stir up gender tension in the West? I hate this timeline but I truly believe this is happening.