This is so true. The mental pressure your body brings to bear to try to reestablish the old equilibrium, and the emotional energy needed to withstand that mental pressure until your body accepts the new equilibrium, are incredibly hard realities of weight loss.
Unfortunately, when you mention these realities, people react very negatively. They say that if it's hard, then it's unhealthy and you're doing it wrong. They preach that it should feel easy and natural, as if that's a path forward. It isn't. It's the end goal, and the path is long and hard.
I think the thing is that different people are, well, different.
I talked about this a few weeks ago[1], but for me losing and maintaining weight actually is quite easy. I foresee no problems maintaining weight going forward because I managed to do that for 25 years without really paying much attention to it, and can easily identify the source of my weight gain. Even losing weight is just a few relatively simple adjustments to my diet.
But the reality for other people is very different.
Because I never had problems with my weight before I never really paid much attention to any of these discussion until a few months ago. I've been a bit surprised at the amount of aggression in some of these discussions at times (including on HN). It seems to me that people with different bodies and experiences are just talking past each other, and in addition to that there is a section of rather unpleasant people who are so high up on their moral high horse that they've become hypoxic.
[1]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44554154
> But the reality for other people is very different.
"Food noise" is the term people use nowadays.
Basically I'm always thinking about food. Always. It's a source of dopamine for me - I have others, but food is a constant.
It's like trying to get off a drug, but you still need to take that drug 3-5 times a day to not die.
Then there are people for whom food is just fuel. They can just ... stop eating. Or eat less. Food doesn't give them any pleasure, it's just a thing they have to consume to not die.
Changing the composition of your diet will do much to quiet this noise. If you’re eating a high protein diet with lots of fibrous vegetables, you will likely end up eating more food with fewer calories overall. And this type of food is very satiating - sometimes to the point that lack of appetite can be an issue.
> Food doesn't give them any pleasure, it's just a thing they have to consume to not die.
There are very few, if any, people like that; almost everyone enjoys nice food. The major exception being people with eating disorders.
A lot of this is mental. It really helps to deliberately shift your identity to match your target weight. Instead of thinking of yourself as a 220 pound person who has forced themselves to 180 through deprivation, you think of yourself as a 180 pound person who eats what a (healthy) 180 pound person would eat. The old lifestyle and food choices are something you have to detach from because they are gone forever. If you don’t do this, you’ll continue to feel as if you’re in a transient space, and that increases the lure of familiar old ways.