There seems to be a missing component:

Some open source software becomes critical infrastructure for a large part of the Internet, and that comes with a lot of responsibility that the maintainer didn't necessarily want to sign up for. Especially when it's unpaid labor with the demands of a large tech company hammering down on them.

How can we better support the people that run these projects? How can we take pressure off of them if they don't want it?

There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution here, I don't think. But I'm sure some combination of fund open source development and fork load-bearing projects that do not wish to be encumbered is going to be necessary for a lot of the community.