ISPs are weird: You don’t call the water department if your sink is backed up—you call a plumber. You also don’t call the electric company when you want to wire your finished basement—you hire an electrician. ISPs somehow became responsible for absolutely every aspect of consuming their service though. Why isn’t “home internet plumber” a thing?

Most people don't have the equivalent of home internet plumbing in general. They have a hole drilled into the wall (by the ISP) where the all-in-one modem-router-switch-wap sits on a shelf. There's probably a third party service to get ethernet run through your walls, and maybe even replace your all-in-one box with something good, but most people are just doing the equivalent of getting water straight out of the water company's tap with no plumbing.

This, and also, it's much more common for internet problems to be caused by upstream issues not in the house (partly because of the situation you describe....not much to go wrong on the users end). It's very rare that a plumbing problem is because the main water line lost pressure.

Back when I still had ISPs that provided the modem + router, every single issue I think I ever had fell into one of two categories: a modem and/or router power cycle fixed it, or it was a broader network issue that had nothing to do with me or my particular internet situation (this is omitting the most common third issue: terrible customer service problems, but that's a separate thing)

Nice analogy!

After fixing internet for some neighbors and older relatives, I've wondered if people would pay for a home network / internet handyman service. It's super frustrating, especially for older folks. They often confuse their email passwords, ISP passwords, wifi setup, etc. Also I could save them a bunch of money getting rid of services they don't use, like moving their landlines to VOIP.

  Also I could save them a bunch of money getting rid of services they don't use, like moving their landlines to VOIP.
If you want a landline to call emergency services, I'd expect a real landline will have higher uptime than one that depends on your router.

This is true, but it's not just that. How many useless cable TV packages are people paying for, on top of Netflix, Hulu, and tons of other streaming services?

VoIP doesn't necessarily require your router to be up.

For example, if you subscribe to Verizon FiOS voice, the technician will disconnect your copper phone lines and connect them to VoIP termination on your ONT.

> After fixing internet for some neighbors and older relatives, I've wondered if people would pay for a home network / internet handyman service.

That's what I did for pocket as a kid in high school (in the mid-2000s).

I had the same thought, and even took on a few "customers" (local folks I didn't charge, but used as a test group). If I decide to do it "for real" I will definitely need to build a relationship with a person who can run ethernet cables through walls for people. I can do that, but the time it would take would not make it worth it for me.

I don’t understand what you mean. If you want Ethernet run through your house, or coax in more places, or access points mounted, you don’t call your ISP.

You call an electrician or a handyman or somebody and tell them you have some low voltage work.

The ISP provides a cable box and modem to most homes in the same way that the electric company sticks a meter on your wall.

> If you want Ethernet run through your house, or coax in more places, or access points mounted, you don’t call your ISP.

In the US, most do. This is a standard part of "in home installation" when first subscribing to service for all of the major providers in the US.

Example: https://forums.xfinity.com/conversations/customer-service/sc...

There are times when you're better off calling the local sewer department first.

In San Jose, if you see evidence that your house's main drain has backed up and you have a cleanout within 5' of the sidewalk, you're better off calling the city first before calling a plumber -- the sewer department will snake the "lateral" pipe between the cleanout and the main sewer line under the street for free.

The one time we used this the response time was very quick (in line with the 30 minute response time they cite on their website).

Having worked with the public before, I have no doubt that a lot of people likely do contact utility companies for issues inside their home. Some of them even do have repair programs with outside contractors. People often simply call whoever they have an existing business relationship with for issues related to that product/service. It may be ignorant but it isn't illogical.

Also, as the other commenter pointed out, ISPs don't terminate their service at the edge of your premises. Basically all of them today will connect one of your devices to confirm installation.

It's called the Geek Squad AFAIK. But most people have no understanding of how their home network works so they don't know how to decide who to call.

For the same reason you called the phone company when your phone went out, not a phone plumber.