Thanks! To be clear I'm not resentful and don't have negative feelings towards coding or programming, it's just that it's not worth sacrificing much more than anything else for. If I had a daughter with cancer, I would probably reduce my commitment to as close to zero as I mentally bear in order to spend time with her, and this just extends into other areas of life; JavaScript or whatever can wait, as interesting as it may be.

If I'm sitting down and not able to get into a zone, all other conditions being ideal, I've probably just been trying too hard and spending too much time on it, at the cost of other things that I subconsciously know I should probably be valuing more. This might be even more of a struggle if you have near complete agency of your time.

Like a relationship, you spend a ton of time together in the beginning, maybe even for quite a while, but if you trade your friends for them, or all your hobbies for scrolling Instagram, you'll be in for a wakeup call at some point when you can't remember how to show up for yourself.