> you do kinda legally have to share that modified source code

I'm using the license exactly as intended. Upstream developers literally don't matter. Free software is not about developers, it's about users.

Free software licenses say the user gets the source code. They're about empowering the user, in this case me, with the ability use and modify the software as I see fit. If I customize something for my personal use, then I'm the only user of the fork and license terms are fulfilled. People would only get to demand source code from me if I started distributing compiled executables to other users.

> You've got no need to campaign for the solutions if they get rejected.

I used to feel that need. Caused me significant anxiety. I thought upstreaming patches was the Right Thing to do. Mercifully I've been cured of this misconception.

> There's really no downside beyond taking 5 minutes to be nice and at least put your solution out there.

I have no problem with that. My point is getting involved with upstream is often more trouble than it's worth. Let them do their thing. Just pull from them and rebase your changes. Enjoy life.

People should think twice before trying to cram their unsolicited code down other people's throats. Even when they ask for the code, chances are deep down they don't actually want to deal with it.