I find that if you turn off telemetry (i.e. turn on privacy) the resource hogging slows down a lot

Hmm. I double checked and I have privacy mode enabled, so I don't think that's the root cause. I also removed all but the bare essential extensions (only the theme I'm using and the core language support extensions for typescript and python).

Since writing this message 4 days ago, I've spent the last 2 days using Zed's beta agent mode and it doesn't swap. So whatever Cursor/vscode are doing, it eats my RAM.