It's an interesting read. I'm in the complete opposite camp. I can't pick up a game controller for more than 5 minutes without feeling like I'm wasting time.
This has lead to many, many side projects throughout the years, which I tend to like a zen garden[1]. Pruning, refining, improving, and sometimes rewriting.
As soon as I work out the game mechanics of any game, I just see it as just content now, and there is nothing holding me back to play any longer. Same with watching TV shows or movies, I lose interest pretty quickly and feel an urge to create something.
I've always been very in tune with time, our lack of it, and felt like consumption is a waste of time.
That said I believe creativity is hormonal (that is only my personal belief, unproven). It comes and goes. Some days I can't stop creating, somedays I want netflix and chill. But that's 10 days cycle of sorts, 10 days on, 10 days off.
Depending on where you live, it's perfectly normal that due to current events, or a personal loss in your life, etc. you might not feel the creative bug tickling you. The creative hormone might be totally wiped by your current environment or predicament; tiredness, anger, stress, all play into it.
After all, since our early days in the caves, drawing on walls, Humans wouldn't do so unless they had safety, a full belly, and a warm fire. A place to call home. Creative time needs conditions to be filled.
Yeah, I've noticed that when I have lots of stressors, I don't have any creative energy. I have to give myself permission to let go, that it's ok to forget about a side project. It's more important to focus on self-care and tackling irl problems at that point.
But when life is good, it's hard to stop tinkering. Weekend-sized projects are the best. For me, it's an urge to create and see the core 20% come to life, not to maintain the boring parts over time.
Hormonal fluctuations is an interesting theory. I always thought it's just a need for variety -- sometimes consuming (i.e. developing taste, curating, exploring), sometimes creating, sometimes relaxing. For me the cycle is months at a time.
One of the hallmarks of people who get stressed, and especially people with burnout is that they don’t have any creative or any relaxive or active outlet anymore. They get kind of stuck in their stressloop.
Say a people who enjoyed playing an instrument stops playing, etc.
The best companies I worked allowed for a bit of game/social activity between work sessions.
I find that due to having a remote job and living alone (albeit with my lovely dog) I'm less inclined to work on a side project where I'm again alone. I tend to gravitate more nowadays to spending time with people and being outdoors.
I used to be really active on side projects when I was a teacher. I'd have my social interaction filled to the brim so side projects were a way to have some alone time and recharge.
I'm the same, and it has kind of ruined me. No one I know thinks the ways I do. I keep wondering if it's just due to anxiety or a fear of death, or an inability to feel present or what. But I really wish I could figure this aspect of myself out so that I can relax and enjoy in a moment.
Whenever I realize that I was lost a moment, I get anxious about what I should be doing with my time instead.
Whenever I feel like I'm losing time, I go watch this and I feel much better
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZbfNtDCHdM
If you are very analytical, a good call is to learn a different way of being, call it “acceptance mode”
If you look at techniques employed from modern buddhism / zen, where you just learn to settle into present (breath, sensory experiences etc.) you can learn to shift your mind from analysis to acceptance modes.
I'm also like this. Some part of me feels that any moment spent not honing a skill / advancing in some way is a wasted one. I know it's a bs perspective, but still I find myself taking it constantly. I do manage to force myself out of this way of thinking from time to time, but it requires conscious effort to do so.
I imagine this forum has its fair share of people who fall for this "overachiever fallacy". I'd be curious to hear how others deal with it.
For the longest time I railed against the fact that I am mortal, and my time is finite. I wanted to squeeze everything I could into my days, and I would feel guilty about projects I didn’t get to. This is despite having a wife, kids, house, full time job.
Eventually I burned out on programming-based side projects. I switched to activities that do not require staring at a screen. So I build analog electronics, study music.
Then I had a heart attack. My mortality and the fragility of life was never more clear. I accepted that I could die, and let go of all the mental baggage I was holding onto.
I’ve felt ‘cured’ ever since. I don’t recommend anyone get a heart attack. But I do think people fall into patterns, and get stuck inside of them. Sometimes a “pattern interrupter” can break us out.
I'm in the same boat. Ever since I started working professionally, I was always praised for delivering first, and it shows in how I work. I'm a maker, I love to deliver. I have a few side projects as well, a few that are relatively completed and I haven't even deployed them, because they were just fun to build. Some are deployed, and I enjoy polishing them.
On the other hand, I remember that time you enjoy wasting is not a wasted time. I don't sleep well if I don't just chill and forget about the world, from time to time. It's like in the Sims. I aim towards my creativity and entertainment need bars to be filled. While coding, I often increase the fill of both bars.
Have you tried League of Legends or Valorant? I'm like you as I can't not have multiple side projects going on at any time, but at the same time there is so much room to improve in these kinds of game I find them hard to stop at times.
How are your in the opposite camp of an article encouraging side projects when you say you have many side projects?
The author wrote about long periods of time when he wasn't encouraged to make anything creative, and just consume.
You're definitely not alone.
In my case it's somewhat of a learned behavior, a lot of my favorite video games make me violently motion sick so over time I just stopped playing them.
Most TV is pretty boring IMO. There's always exceptions but it's not something I find myself regularly being drawn to.
I'm always tinkering on something (a longtime favorite is gardening), and I'm pretty sure I'll always be tinkering until the day I die. Some of us are just wired differently.
Can be a little difficult to connect with the mainstream folks though. I pretty much live in a different world.
> somedays I want netflix and chill.
I call them a zero day.