I am not surprised at all, years ago I spent too much one-on-one time with a paper copy of 14 CFR :) There is less in those few thousand pages than most would think.

Simply because the CFRs do not require something do not make it untrue. The fact of the matter is that your original comment was simply incorrect, you would not be sucked into a turbofan engine if you use the emergency slides fore of the engines.