> Most people don't even play with a grid and figurines (at least traditionally).
This is simply not true. If you want to play a pure roleplaying game, play a rules-light one. DnD is not that.
Everyone homebrews little bits so I'm not going to harp too much on that, but there's no point discussing the issues of DnD's design if we're not talking about DnD's design but rather whatever your homebrewed version of DnD is.
Did you know the game is balanced around 8 combat encounters per session? Do you know how many tables actually play that number of combats per session? It's a badly designed game.
The game isn't balanced at all. Are you playing the modern version or something? I'm talking about D&D which was always traditionally a roleplaying game and not a rollplaying game.