To me it feels like nuance has been lost.

Personally, I would never self-host some B2C or B2B application if you have less than 50 - 100 techies in a healthy org. You can get just too much from a few VMs and/or a few dedicated servers at like Hetzner, OVH, or AWS managed services. At least for the average web rest thingy with a DB and some file storage. I'm sure it's possible to find counter-examples.

On the other hand, we are about 120 devs at work now, couple thousand B2B customers, 10 Platform Ops, 7 HW & DC Ops. I guess we have more ops-people than a startup may have people. Once we get rid of VMWare licensing, our colos are ridiculously cheap when amortized across 5 years compared to AWS or cloud hosting. Once EOL, they'll also reduce cloud-costs on cheaper providers for test systems and provide spontaneous failover and disaster recovery tests.

We're now also getting good cross-team scaling processes going and at this point the big barriers are actually getting enough power and cooling, not buying/racking/maintaining systems. That will be a big price tag next year, but we've not paid that money to AWS the last two years, so it's fine.

As I keep saying internally, self-hosting is like buying a 40 ton excavator, like Large Marge or a 40 ton truck. If you have enough stuff to utilize a 40 ton truck, it's good. If you need to move food around in an urban environment, or need to move an organ transplant between hospitals, a 40 ton truck tends to be rather inefficient and very expensive to maintain and run.