It's got to be better than the laggy, unreliable, content-pushing Google TV crap that runs my TV... Right?

Making a guess: nope. Same underpowered SoC, in order to save $5.

It is better than Android TV, which I also own, but in terms of ads, yep there are some as well.

Differention, that is what all OEMs care about, netbooks already showed us that.